Saturday, August 30, 2008

The Back Log

What d’you do with all the quilts you’ve made that are getting a big long in the tooth and are totally unloved and unsold?

Here are some possibilities:

  1. offer them to your children – after all, any discerning and loving child will be bound to want Momma’s art work on the wall – right? If you include the poles, and the nails and a hammer and a step ladder…they may even take them!
  2. try selling them for knock down prices at the local guild’s annual quilt show – you can always add a few beads or bows or even a blue ribbon or two to try to increase their desirability
  3. Fold neatly into a dog or cat bed – these can always be rescued later and given a quick wash should a customer finally appear!
  4. offer to your minister – it helps if you write a few messages here and there on the piece “with best wishes from all your parishioners” or something of that sort.
  5. Cut up into smaller pieces, splash with guache or even a quick spray with car paint, or that matt black you did the barbecue with last week, and frame in little gold frames and sell at the next art fair.
  6. cut up into pot holders – here’s a touch Martha would approve of: stitch differently coloured ribbon round each one and make a loop – hang as a triptych on your kitchen wall and decorate a little apron to match for yourself. If you want to complete the vision, then a waitress cap with ribbons will make hubby glow when he comes in after a hard day’s work.
  7. cut the quilt into a rectangle and a circle, then assemble as a bog roll cover. Sew kewt!
  8. give to the salvation army writing down on the form “rare art work valued at $99, excellent condition”
  9. when looking after the neighbour’s cats when they’re away, hang the piece over their mantelpiece – they’ll be so thrilled they’ll buy 3 more from you instantly.
  10. cut up into cute little vests for yourself and 3 friends to wear at the next IQA show – you’ll start a trend! (or maybe end one!)
  11. Seventeen of them glued together will make a nice footstool for your feet.
  12. Give one to your husband to hang over the television - so much more interesting than sport.
  13. offer one to your dentist in lieu of his normal fee – after all, it will look good on the boat!
  14. Don a uniform and a tool belt, with a ladder over your shoulder, hang them in various public buildings around your town. Everyone will be so pleased to have real (rather than Hallmark) art!
  15. Send them to Project Runway – see if Tim can “make them work”!
  16. Announce on your blog: OK you lot, I’m not making ONE more quilt until this lot is Sold!!!
  17. Set fire to the lot!

And, if you have been….thanks for reading – and good luck with the backlog!!!



Deb Lacativa said...

I donated a half dozen to the local humane society and helped tie off the corners of the smaller ones into little kitty hammocks..anything over three feet became dog beds. They loved them.

Looking around the studio, there are a few more likely candidates that I am not going to waste one more minute on. The critters won't care.

Del said...

What is a "bog roll cover"?
I've always admired Elizabeth Busch who was not happy with an almost finished quilt. She cut it up into five pieces and bound them - three were sold at a Canadian gallery, one was accepted into a Visions exhibit, but I don't know what happened to the fifth. It inspired me to cut up an unfinished piece and make placemats for a friend. She was thrilled.

Julia said...

Del, a "bog roll cover" is UK for toilet paper roll cover-doesn't everyone have at least one?

While working for a well known Japanese textile artist in my student days I was given this memorable advice: "Julia, if you want to be a big artist, you don't need a big need a big basement."
Needless to say her basement was filled to bursting like King Tut's tomb with all manner of 70s-era failed fibre works.